Mullins Chain Drive's Electro Metallic Emulsifier

Brandon sent me a letter this morning;

I had been having visions of a strange object floating in the mighty troposhphere. Rigid yet soft. Firm yet moist. Taught yet vulnerable.

Jasin and I knew it was our destinies to manifest this vision into something the world could curl up with and get to know better. I could no longer allow this mental book end to keep us languishing in the CONFINES OF THEIR BARN FINDS. As leader of the AMERICAN CAVE DWELLERS I recruited Jasin to construct what you people in Sweden might call an electro metallic emulsifier. Using gamma waves we can make the implausible plausible.
Step #1

The first step was to track down an origional tuck and roll fabric, only an authentic piece would do. Something with a prestigious racing promenance.

Step #2

The second element in this equation was a tank Jasin had been building up for a project. I decided it was in its best interest to give itself up for the scientific cause. Nice and smooth, nothing really too spectacular about it. A tank for all occasions. After thourough calculations, body fat readings, rockwell testing and PH balancing, it was connected to the device Jasin built in the lab. All contact points were measured exactly. Any miscalculation may be a potential disaster. Thousands of lives were at stake.

Step #3
After checking and re checking our numbers and figures, it was time to send the millions of kilowatts through the tank and expose the entire area to heavy waves of GAMMA RADIATION. Everytrhing was going exactly according to plan until Jasin decided to increase the wave frequency!!! Then suddenly I became engulfed in the radioactive material and it sprayed from my glowing orifices.

The waves consumed the entire lab throwing both Jasin and me into a frenzied spiral of radioactive attitude adjustment. All was lost. What started as a beautiful dream had no doubt ended in terror and heart ache.

Step #4

And just as soon as the disaster had begun, it was over. Somehow we had been spared. Jasin noticed first - the Troposheric Emulsion Observation Chamber was reading that something inside had arrived... Like a sparkling baby dolphin from a deep sea virgin birth it shined upon the remains of the charred laboratory.

And so it came to pass that the Metallic KO Tuck and Roll Emulsifier Ray succeeded, we will celebrate this day for the rest of our lives even as the harmful rays we have been exposed to slowly ebb away at our insides until finally we too become solid steel underwater dwellers.